A BLT By Any Other Name:

I’d like to take some time to talk to you about my local deli. Actually, there are a few of them. But we’re not going to talk about Mike’s or Super Como. No, we’re going to talk about the Malba Deli, where we often go to get sandwiches. More often than not, we call it Orzo’s, because a guy named Orzo used to own it. But it’s actually the Malba Deli. Okay, is that all clear? Good, then let’s get going.

As I already mentioned, we mostly go to the Malba Deli for quality sandwiches. Upon entering, signs for each sandwich can be seen all around you, each sandwich with a distinctive name and delicious ingredients. It’s pretty much impossible to read them all, but if you go there as often as I do, you get the gist of it. For instance, the Malba Deli has renamed the BLT. No kidding, one of their sandwiches is called “Porkie’s Garden” The ingredients are, of course, bacon, lettuce, and tomato. Besides that, the sandwiches are quite unique. Take, for instance, the “Artery Clogger” (ham, bacon, egg, cheese, salt and pepper, butter, and ketchup). Or, the “Overweight Lover” (chicken cutlets, fresh mozzarella, sun dried tomatoes, and balsamic vinegar). If I ever owned a sandwich shop (which I hope to someday, if only for a week or two), here are some examples of my own sandwich names:
Underdog
Snoopy
Prickly Pete
Just Bread
Doc Brown
Dark Helmet
Stuff I Found On the Floor
Dread Pirate Roberts
Hello, McFly
Edible?

But that’s not all that can be said about the Malba Deli. (If it was, this wouldn’t be much of a post, would it?) One can not avoid the subject of the limited space. It gets pretty darn crowded around lunch time. Luckily, I’m usually eating breakfast then. But even without the teeming masses of hungry people, there is one particularly cramped part of the store: the chip shelf. The shelf containing all the potato chips is surrounded by refrigerators on two sides and a counter on the other. This makes navigating the chip shelf an issue. The passages surrounding said shelf are so narrow that I expect many of their customers can not fit in them.

The employees are also quite unique. There is one who I see quite often. So often that he pretty much knows my order before I walk in the door. As soon as he catches sight of me, he says, “Jim Baker on white bread, extra barbeque sauce?” (That is his attempt at humor, since I don’t like barbeque sauce on my sandwich.) And I say, “Oh, you know it,” while laughing quite insincerely. Despite that lame joke, I am pretty lucky when he makes my sandwiches. Practically everyone else there somehow manages to mess things up. Whether my sandwich is on a roll, or with the wrong cheese, or with the dreaded barbeque sauce, they always find a way screw up my order.

Cleanliness is, well, what you might expect from a deli. But it has never been a real issue. Once in a while, you see a few stray flies, but there’s not much they can do to prevent that, I suppose. Besides, they’ve made their feelings about complaints pretty clear. (There is a sign that says, “To complain, take a number.” Said number is on the end of the pin to a fake grenade. At least, I hope it’s fake.)

That’s all for today. Oh yeah, sorry, but that thing that had me in such a good mood yesterday still must be kept under wraps. Maybe tomorrow.

End Post.

Comments

[Memmorium]

Good idea!
P.S. A U realy girl?